8 Weeks

I've been off-line for a while.  Or at least I haven't posted in a while - here or on the other forums I follow.  I'm not sure why. 

So here we are at 8 weeks, 3 days.  Still blessedly free of morning sickness (knocking on wood as I type).  I'm hungry and tired all of the time, but I feel like I have a pretty good system to get me through the work week.  Of course on the weekend, I haven't done much except eat and sleep.  And lordy, if I wait too long to eat, the hunger becomes all-consuming, and I can't think about anything else.  The problem then is that I'm so hungry that I eat too much and then I feel sick.  That sucks.

I had my second ultrasound on Thursday (at exactly 8 weeks) and the RE said everything looked great - heartbeat was 167, and baby measured 7 weeks, 6 days.

 I also "graduated" from my RE, so I now have to find an OB.  I made an appointment with one for next Monday, so we'll see how that goes - she's affiliated with the hospital around the corner from my house, so that's convenient I guess.  I don't really know.

I've been experiencing a lot of emotions that I can't quite name or even describe adequately.  Sometimes it's a kind of vague anxiety, where I feel anxious, but can't put my finger on why.  Which makes it hard to figure out how to address it.  Sometimes I'm really excited, which is great.  When I'm really excited I have trouble focusing on anything else, which is fine on the weekend, but a bit problematic at work.

I've also spent some time the last few weeks dealing with my sadness over not having twins.  I'm happy over the moon to be pregnant and starting my family.  I just had (and still have to some degree)
to get over the fact that I have wanted to have twins for my whole life.  I've never been particularly excited about the pregnancy part of being a mom - I'm blaming my ambivalence for the fact that I am so big already! - so I've always been fairly sure I would only be pregnant once, and so I wanted to have more than one on the first try.  So I've been taking some time to really process that I'm having one baby and that is wonderful, even if it's not what I thought I wanted.  I've also come to a place of realizing that one baby is realistically all that I can manage and still maintain the level of independence that I've come to value.  I will still likely move close to family so that my mom can help with childcare, however, I think I will be able to manage pretty well as a mom of one.  At least for now.  I might reconsider a second pregnancy at some point in the future.  We'll see.  One day at a time.

So that's the quickie catch-up.  I'm hoping to be a better blogger in the upcoming weeks.