I really do wonder if there is more than one in there because I am expanding at a rapid rate. And just last night, I thought maybe the bloating had gone down. Not!
This morning I awoke to find that my breasts had grown! Crazy. And thus my great plan to wear a printed dress (distracts the eye from the belly and doesn't require a waistband like skirts and pants) was not terribly successful as now my boobs are taking up extra space, hiking up the dress and do now the dress is too short and awfully snug when I sit down. I may have to go get some clothes in a size bigger this weekend. Ha!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Home for my new family
I want to be able to combine this pregnancy with preparation for motherhood and preparing my home for Small One. However, I don't really want to stay here once I've given birth. That and childcare would be cheap to free in my hometown (my mom would take care of Small One while I work), especially if I'm having more than one. I'd also love to go back to California to be closer to my friends. But that's sooo far from my family. So I'll need to make a decision about that.
The larger issue really is that I want to be able to spend the next 9 months getting all geared up for baby(ies). But that doesn't seem to make much sense when I figure I'm not going to be living here.
Some living situation context: My EDD is May 30th. My lease goes through June 18. The fee for early termination is one month's rent, so ending the lease one month early (~May 18) doesn't save me any money. In order to save on rent, I'd have to do early termination of April 18 or earlier. Have to give 60 days notice.
Option A: Work through early-mid May. Pay lease through end. Birth here. Move a few weeks after when lease is up.
Option B: Work through early-mid-May. Pay lease through end. Move right after leaving work. Birth in new city. (Which means all new docs and hospital)
Any other options I can think of either leave me to be uncomfortable (staying in hotel/with friends for a month) at the end of my pregnancy or leaving work early which impacts me financially, and leave-wise. In the event that I am having more than one Small One, and have to go on bed rest, there would need to be a contingency plan for that (maybe move home with parents until after the birth).
Ultimately, all of these options lead me to believe that I won't get to do things like set up the baby's room and get the place ready for the new addition to my family. In all my thinking and planning on the way into this, I seem to have forgotten to really figure out this issue in a way that makes sense and doesn't have me trying to move while enormously pregnant or right after giving birth. Basically, I need to prepare to pay a lot for movers, because in these scenarios I wouldn't be able to move much on my own.
Okay. Needed to write this all so that I could put it away for now. As I see it, I can't do anything about it now. I'll work on figuring it out in a few months.
ETA: I did find that my apartment company has a property about 15 minutes from my parents. That could be super convenient, because I could transfer easily - they only require 30 days notice and an early termination fee (which is less than one month's rent). That's could be an option.
The larger issue really is that I want to be able to spend the next 9 months getting all geared up for baby(ies). But that doesn't seem to make much sense when I figure I'm not going to be living here.
Some living situation context: My EDD is May 30th. My lease goes through June 18. The fee for early termination is one month's rent, so ending the lease one month early (~May 18) doesn't save me any money. In order to save on rent, I'd have to do early termination of April 18 or earlier. Have to give 60 days notice.
Option A: Work through early-mid May. Pay lease through end. Birth here. Move a few weeks after when lease is up.
Option B: Work through early-mid-May. Pay lease through end. Move right after leaving work. Birth in new city. (Which means all new docs and hospital)
Any other options I can think of either leave me to be uncomfortable (staying in hotel/with friends for a month) at the end of my pregnancy or leaving work early which impacts me financially, and leave-wise. In the event that I am having more than one Small One, and have to go on bed rest, there would need to be a contingency plan for that (maybe move home with parents until after the birth).
Ultimately, all of these options lead me to believe that I won't get to do things like set up the baby's room and get the place ready for the new addition to my family. In all my thinking and planning on the way into this, I seem to have forgotten to really figure out this issue in a way that makes sense and doesn't have me trying to move while enormously pregnant or right after giving birth. Basically, I need to prepare to pay a lot for movers, because in these scenarios I wouldn't be able to move much on my own.
Okay. Needed to write this all so that I could put it away for now. As I see it, I can't do anything about it now. I'll work on figuring it out in a few months.
ETA: I did find that my apartment company has a property about 15 minutes from my parents. That could be super convenient, because I could transfer easily - they only require 30 days notice and an early termination fee (which is less than one month's rent). That's could be an option.
Beta #3
3040 - exactly doubled from #2 two days ago!
My first appointment and ultrasound is on October 8th! So exciting!
My first appointment and ultrasound is on October 8th! So exciting!
Blood test drama
So much drama today for Beta #3!
First, traffic was ridiculous. I'm talking 3 cycles at a light. Ugh.
And about 60 minutes in the car is about all my bladder can take. I do drink water in the car, but goodness! I had to pee so badly that I was yelling curses at people in the car (windows up).
Then I couldn't find street parking. Boo. Gave up (since I was about to wet myself) and paid $10 to park in the tiniest lot ever.
RAN to the office. Tried the bathroom in the hallway... Locked. Boo!
Ran into office, scribbled my info on the intake form, practically threw it at the nurse and unabashedly RACED to the restroom. I'm really glad there was no one in my direct line of travel. I would have mowed anyone down at that point!
After the blessed relief. I went and sat down like a normal person. Aaaah!
But the problems did not end there. 3 tries and two techs to draw my blood. Extra fun for a person who is TERRIFIED of needles. We had issues for beta 2 as well. I hate having blood drawn but I've never had issues like this before. Usually just terror. I'm thinking that Small One doesn't want to share. 😘
Now we wait. Based on the first two, I should expect to hear from my nurse around 2 pm.
First, traffic was ridiculous. I'm talking 3 cycles at a light. Ugh.
And about 60 minutes in the car is about all my bladder can take. I do drink water in the car, but goodness! I had to pee so badly that I was yelling curses at people in the car (windows up).
Then I couldn't find street parking. Boo. Gave up (since I was about to wet myself) and paid $10 to park in the tiniest lot ever.
RAN to the office. Tried the bathroom in the hallway... Locked. Boo!
Ran into office, scribbled my info on the intake form, practically threw it at the nurse and unabashedly RACED to the restroom. I'm really glad there was no one in my direct line of travel. I would have mowed anyone down at that point!
After the blessed relief. I went and sat down like a normal person. Aaaah!
But the problems did not end there. 3 tries and two techs to draw my blood. Extra fun for a person who is TERRIFIED of needles. We had issues for beta 2 as well. I hate having blood drawn but I've never had issues like this before. Usually just terror. I'm thinking that Small One doesn't want to share. 😘
Now we wait. Based on the first two, I should expect to hear from my nurse around 2 pm.
Monday, September 24, 2012
No waist?
I got dressed this morning and noticed that my waist has disappeared. I look square!
At work today, I sat at my desk with the top of my skirt hiked up to my rib cage. This bloat is no joke.
In other news, Beta #2 came back at 1520! That's about 33 hour doubling time. I don't really know what that means, but my nurse said it's good! I go back Wednesday morning for one more beta test, then we move ahead from there!
I keep reading about betas because I'm hoping for twins. However, the triplet dreams won't go away! :) My beta levels are on the high end for singletons and right about average for twins or triplets. However, from everything I've read, betas mean nothing in actuality except that you are pregnant! We shall see ...
It's really exciting, however, it just really dawned on me that I'm going to be doing this pregnancy alone for the most part because all my "people" are far away from here. That makes me kinda sad. I'm working on a post about my "plans" to move closer to my peeps.
 |
| Square (or rectangular!) me. Where did my waist go? |
At work today, I sat at my desk with the top of my skirt hiked up to my rib cage. This bloat is no joke.
In other news, Beta #2 came back at 1520! That's about 33 hour doubling time. I don't really know what that means, but my nurse said it's good! I go back Wednesday morning for one more beta test, then we move ahead from there!
I keep reading about betas because I'm hoping for twins. However, the triplet dreams won't go away! :) My beta levels are on the high end for singletons and right about average for twins or triplets. However, from everything I've read, betas mean nothing in actuality except that you are pregnant! We shall see ...
It's really exciting, however, it just really dawned on me that I'm going to be doing this pregnancy alone for the most part because all my "people" are far away from here. That makes me kinda sad. I'm working on a post about my "plans" to move closer to my peeps.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Telling Folks
I'm trying to figure out why I haven't told my family yet. I talked with them about my plans and they are really supportive. They especially love the fact that I'm most likely going to move back home (it's been 20 years since I lived there) to be closer to family support. But I've been avoiding the call. At first I told myself I would wait until the beta so that I could be sure. Now I've had beta results since Friday, and I still haven't called. Am I waiting for the next beta? Why? Am I waiting for ultrasound a few weeks from now?
The people I have told are my best friend and friends who have been following my TTC story with me - one with kids of her own, one who is about 21 weeks pregnant, and a couple who also used donor sperm to conceive their 2 children. There is also a close single friend of mine who I haven't told yet. No idea why not.
I do want to talk to my sister. Somehow I don't have much recollection of talking about details with her during her pregnancy. I don't remember when she found out she was pregnant, when she found out she was having twins, what her symptoms were like, etc. I'm thinking I will call her today. I'm pretty sure I will need to tell my parents immediately after though. My mom will be soooo upset if I don't tell her myself. Although, I think she was the one who told me that my sister was pregnant initially.
There's one more thing that I believe feeds into my feelings about telling these other folks. I desperately want to know how many babies I'm having. If it's more than one, I think I feel that this will justify the poor fertility numbers (FSH and AMH) because it could be proof that I ovulate more than one egg per cycle, thereby reducing the number of eggs I have left. And I've always wanted "twins on the first try" (that used to be what I said during my teens and twenties). If I'm growing a singleton, that's truly wonderful too! I just want to be a mom! And then there are the periodic dreams of triplets. Those dreams are a bit more nerve-wracking now that I AM pregnant, because being a triplet mom on my own feels exponentially harder than being a singleton or twin mom on my own. Yet, it still would be truly exciting. I just want to be a mom! I'm thinking that's why I didn't say anything to the nurse when she set my appointment for "blood work and an ultrasound". I think my subconscious (and even my conscious) mind is hoping to get a look-see soon to find out how many sacs and babies are growing inside.
Today, I am pregnant, and in the spring I'm going to become a parent! I guess it doesn't matter who I tell now or 3 weeks from now, or at the end of the first trimester. I'm going to have a baby (or more). I'm going to be a mom! I guess technically I am a mom now. My baby/babies just haven't arrived yet. :)
Sometimes my pregnancy and the fact that there is a baby growing inside me doesn't seem real yet. Especially since the twingey belly symptoms all seemed to have been related to the initial creation of the baby (fertilization and implantation) because I've had almost none since. I am truly grateful to not be vomiting or hating food - I like food way too much. So maybe that's the reason? I definitely think it's part of the reason why I keep testing every day.
The people I have told are my best friend and friends who have been following my TTC story with me - one with kids of her own, one who is about 21 weeks pregnant, and a couple who also used donor sperm to conceive their 2 children. There is also a close single friend of mine who I haven't told yet. No idea why not.
I do want to talk to my sister. Somehow I don't have much recollection of talking about details with her during her pregnancy. I don't remember when she found out she was pregnant, when she found out she was having twins, what her symptoms were like, etc. I'm thinking I will call her today. I'm pretty sure I will need to tell my parents immediately after though. My mom will be soooo upset if I don't tell her myself. Although, I think she was the one who told me that my sister was pregnant initially.
There's one more thing that I believe feeds into my feelings about telling these other folks. I desperately want to know how many babies I'm having. If it's more than one, I think I feel that this will justify the poor fertility numbers (FSH and AMH) because it could be proof that I ovulate more than one egg per cycle, thereby reducing the number of eggs I have left. And I've always wanted "twins on the first try" (that used to be what I said during my teens and twenties). If I'm growing a singleton, that's truly wonderful too! I just want to be a mom! And then there are the periodic dreams of triplets. Those dreams are a bit more nerve-wracking now that I AM pregnant, because being a triplet mom on my own feels exponentially harder than being a singleton or twin mom on my own. Yet, it still would be truly exciting. I just want to be a mom! I'm thinking that's why I didn't say anything to the nurse when she set my appointment for "blood work and an ultrasound". I think my subconscious (and even my conscious) mind is hoping to get a look-see soon to find out how many sacs and babies are growing inside.
Today, I am pregnant, and in the spring I'm going to become a parent! I guess it doesn't matter who I tell now or 3 weeks from now, or at the end of the first trimester. I'm going to have a baby (or more). I'm going to be a mom! I guess technically I am a mom now. My baby/babies just haven't arrived yet. :)
Update on the last few days (with Beta!)
I have so many thoughts tumbling around in my head, and I've been composing half-posts in my head for the last few days. For some reason, I have been having some trouble gathering my thoughts into intelligent sentences, which is weird because I'm usually extremely verbal. One friend said I'm already suffering from pregnancy brain! That may be part of it - I also think I'm experiencing a whole lot of emotions very rapidly, and they're causing my super-analytical mind to become a bit mushy.
I'll start with the part that is easiest for me: an update on the last few days.
I noticed that I have been having some cravings - nothing too weird, but curious. First, I require sweets every day! I don't usually have too much of a sweet tooth, but there is a point every day lately when I need a cupcake or a cookie or ice cream. The granola bar or cup of pudding that I usually have in my lunch bag doesn't really cut it. Then on Friday, I apparently really needed PUMPKIN. I stopped off for a decaf pumpkin latte after my beta test, then while shopping Friday evening, I bought pumpkin waffles and pumpkin ravioli without even noticing the theme. And I wanted another pumpkin latte yesterday, but was far too tired to go get one.
Which brings me to exhaustion. Last week, I noticed I was more tired than usual when I got home from work, but it was okay. Yesterday, though, was an animal of a different color! I was so exhausted all day. It was all I could do to change the sheets on my bed and do one load of laundry. I had planned to go to an SMC gathering, but my afternoon "nap" went way longer than expected. And then my "get-up-and-go" had gone, and I was moving so slowly, that by the time I got to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription, they were closed (my fault for reading the website incorrectly). I did feel better about 1 hour after my "nap" but I don't think I can sleep for 3.5 hours every afternoon!
Okay, here is the real news: Beta Test! I didn't get to actually speak with my nurse because she called while I was leading a training and then the office was closed by the time I was done, but she said, (and I quote) "your blood test has confirmed that you are in fact pregnant, so congratulations! Your blood test today was 338, so that's a great first level ..." She went on to say they were looking for at least 100 today, and that I need to come back on Monday for another test. Woohoo! One would think that this would mean I would no longer feel compelled to POAS to confirm that I am, in fact, still pregnant, but no ... I picked up some store brand tests (2 for $5) and tested again this morning. I'm hoping this compulsion will go away soon (I believe I have mentioned my tendency toward the C in OCD) because I know it's not helping anything, and it would be ridiculous to test for 35 more weeks.
I freaked out a bit on Friday night because I needed to refill my progesterone prescription and schedule for the next beta, but I had missed the office hours on Friday. Later, when my rational mind kicked in again, I remembered that there was a weekend number, so I called on Saturday and was able to schedule my appointment and find out how to transfer a prescription. When scheduling the appointment, the nurse said, "You need an appointment for blood work and ultrasound?" And I said "yes." However, I don't believe that is correct. I just re-listened to the message from my nurse and she clearly said "you need to make an appointment for Monday morning for blood work only". Oops. Curious to know what will happen when I get there. Will I get a bonus U/S? Is there anything to see at 4w4d?
So that is the update on what has gone on over the last few days. I'm working on another post about my emotional state right now, but I'll keep that separate - otherwise this one post will turn out to be dissertation-length.
I'll start with the part that is easiest for me: an update on the last few days.
I noticed that I have been having some cravings - nothing too weird, but curious. First, I require sweets every day! I don't usually have too much of a sweet tooth, but there is a point every day lately when I need a cupcake or a cookie or ice cream. The granola bar or cup of pudding that I usually have in my lunch bag doesn't really cut it. Then on Friday, I apparently really needed PUMPKIN. I stopped off for a decaf pumpkin latte after my beta test, then while shopping Friday evening, I bought pumpkin waffles and pumpkin ravioli without even noticing the theme. And I wanted another pumpkin latte yesterday, but was far too tired to go get one.
Which brings me to exhaustion. Last week, I noticed I was more tired than usual when I got home from work, but it was okay. Yesterday, though, was an animal of a different color! I was so exhausted all day. It was all I could do to change the sheets on my bed and do one load of laundry. I had planned to go to an SMC gathering, but my afternoon "nap" went way longer than expected. And then my "get-up-and-go" had gone, and I was moving so slowly, that by the time I got to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription, they were closed (my fault for reading the website incorrectly). I did feel better about 1 hour after my "nap" but I don't think I can sleep for 3.5 hours every afternoon!
Okay, here is the real news: Beta Test! I didn't get to actually speak with my nurse because she called while I was leading a training and then the office was closed by the time I was done, but she said, (and I quote) "your blood test has confirmed that you are in fact pregnant, so congratulations! Your blood test today was 338, so that's a great first level ..." She went on to say they were looking for at least 100 today, and that I need to come back on Monday for another test. Woohoo! One would think that this would mean I would no longer feel compelled to POAS to confirm that I am, in fact, still pregnant, but no ... I picked up some store brand tests (2 for $5) and tested again this morning. I'm hoping this compulsion will go away soon (I believe I have mentioned my tendency toward the C in OCD) because I know it's not helping anything, and it would be ridiculous to test for 35 more weeks.
I freaked out a bit on Friday night because I needed to refill my progesterone prescription and schedule for the next beta, but I had missed the office hours on Friday. Later, when my rational mind kicked in again, I remembered that there was a weekend number, so I called on Saturday and was able to schedule my appointment and find out how to transfer a prescription. When scheduling the appointment, the nurse said, "You need an appointment for blood work and ultrasound?" And I said "yes." However, I don't believe that is correct. I just re-listened to the message from my nurse and she clearly said "you need to make an appointment for Monday morning for blood work only". Oops. Curious to know what will happen when I get there. Will I get a bonus U/S? Is there anything to see at 4w4d?
So that is the update on what has gone on over the last few days. I'm working on another post about my emotional state right now, but I'll keep that separate - otherwise this one post will turn out to be dissertation-length.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
12dpiui
I am so aggravated and I need to rant a bit.
But before I do - I'm still pregnant and so so so happy!
I need to vent so that I can return to reveling in the joy.
I have worked for my current employer for a little over 3 years. In that time, I've watched many people go out on leave (maternity or medical) with full salary - they have to use some/all of their sick time, but they did not have a reduction in salary. My current benefits package is part of the reason that I decided to stay while TTC - so that I could take advantage of the maternity leave that I've earned. If I had relocated and started a new job this past summer, I would not qualify for maternity leave in May/June.
Anyway, it's Open Enrollment time for benefits. As I was clicking through the online system, checking out how much I would need to contribute for health insurance and supplemental life insurance once Small One arrives, I noticed something new under short term disability. So I talked to someone from HR and learned that as of 10/1/12 we no longer pay full salary for maternity leave. We get 50% salary and we can contribute to get another 10% (which clearly I did).
I'm just so aggravated because I feel like I spent all this time and energy to make informed choices to make this pregnancy possible, and I made some sacrifices as well (i.e. choosing to stay here for another year). And now I feel like I'm being shortchanged, and I would have been better off doing this a year ago, even though I felt like it would have been irresponsible to go on leave while in my former position.
So Boo.
I know that in the greater scheme of things, I am blessed to have my job, salary, and excellent benefits. I know that many others have to take maternity leave entirely unpaid. So I know that I am whining, and it's annoying. I'm annoying myself. It just seems so unfair.
Okay, rant over.
I'm pregnant. On the first try. It is amazing, I am so excited, and I am truly blessed.
I added some tickers to the page, based on an EDD "guesstimate". Will update when I get an official EDD. :)
But before I do - I'm still pregnant and so so so happy!
I need to vent so that I can return to reveling in the joy.
I have worked for my current employer for a little over 3 years. In that time, I've watched many people go out on leave (maternity or medical) with full salary - they have to use some/all of their sick time, but they did not have a reduction in salary. My current benefits package is part of the reason that I decided to stay while TTC - so that I could take advantage of the maternity leave that I've earned. If I had relocated and started a new job this past summer, I would not qualify for maternity leave in May/June.
Anyway, it's Open Enrollment time for benefits. As I was clicking through the online system, checking out how much I would need to contribute for health insurance and supplemental life insurance once Small One arrives, I noticed something new under short term disability. So I talked to someone from HR and learned that as of 10/1/12 we no longer pay full salary for maternity leave. We get 50% salary and we can contribute to get another 10% (which clearly I did).
I'm just so aggravated because I feel like I spent all this time and energy to make informed choices to make this pregnancy possible, and I made some sacrifices as well (i.e. choosing to stay here for another year). And now I feel like I'm being shortchanged, and I would have been better off doing this a year ago, even though I felt like it would have been irresponsible to go on leave while in my former position.
So Boo.
I know that in the greater scheme of things, I am blessed to have my job, salary, and excellent benefits. I know that many others have to take maternity leave entirely unpaid. So I know that I am whining, and it's annoying. I'm annoying myself. It just seems so unfair.
Okay, rant over.
I'm pregnant. On the first try. It is amazing, I am so excited, and I am truly blessed.
I added some tickers to the page, based on an EDD "guesstimate". Will update when I get an official EDD. :)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
11dpiui
Still pregnant!
I plan to test each morning until beta for continued confirmation. And positive thinking that I won't need the extra tests in the future! If the last two days are any indication, I will also "confirm" every evening when I get home from work.
My lines are still getting darker:
I am sooo bloated. I feel like I look pregnant already! It's probably the fibroid taking up space. I have it in my list to ask the doctor about. This morning I couldn't get into the skirt I'd planned to wear. Instead I wore a pair of capris that are usually a size too big.
That's all the news for today. At some point I'll post something more insightful. 😉
I plan to test each morning until beta for continued confirmation. And positive thinking that I won't need the extra tests in the future! If the last two days are any indication, I will also "confirm" every evening when I get home from work.
My lines are still getting darker:
I am sooo bloated. I feel like I look pregnant already! It's probably the fibroid taking up space. I have it in my list to ask the doctor about. This morning I couldn't get into the skirt I'd planned to wear. Instead I wore a pair of capris that are usually a size too big.
That's all the news for today. At some point I'll post something more insightful. 😉
Monday, September 17, 2012
10dpiui
I am 10dpiui and 11dpo today.
I didn't want to admit it, but I started testing at 8dpo - just to see.
8dpo - BFN (no surprise, but it is amazing how stark white the test can be!)
9dpo - BFN
10dpo - faint line on strip test - don't have to squint or tilt or anything to see it. It's definitely there (From what I can see on the "preview" of this page, you may have to squint to see it, though). Tried to confirm with digital. Nada - "not pregnant".
And ignore the blue LH strip. Too much googling - I read that an OPK can test for pregnancy. Had to give it a try.
So now it's 11dpo and I test at 5:15 am with FMU. Check it out:
And now I'm kinda freaking out. I want this so much. But I'm also really nervous. I want it to stick and I want everything to go well. And I want to fast forward through time. Even with the positive, the 2ww isn't over until the blood test on Friday. And then, from what I understand (and I've done a LOT of reading), it's just more waiting between milestones. Yikes.
I'm freaking out that something will go wrong and this won't be real. I'm glad I got the positive this morning because of course I freaked myself out all day yesterday that choosing to run the 5K was a poor choice. I'm over analyzing everything - trying to plan for finances, where I will live, what job I will have etc.
I am truly truly thankful and recognize that I am inordinately blessed! I think my doctor is going to be really surprised that I got pregnant on the first try with my fertility numbers. Trying to think positive: I've convinced myself that I dropped multiple eggs, and that's why my fsh is so high - I generally kick out more than one egg per cycle (possible as there are a lot of twins in my family). I also have always wanted twins! Though, I also keep dreaming that there are 3 in there. 3 is a lot. However, I will be happy with my blessing(s), whatever the quantity! :)
I'm pregnant. Wow.
I didn't want to admit it, but I started testing at 8dpo - just to see.
8dpo - BFN (no surprise, but it is amazing how stark white the test can be!)
9dpo - BFN
10dpo - faint line on strip test - don't have to squint or tilt or anything to see it. It's definitely there (From what I can see on the "preview" of this page, you may have to squint to see it, though). Tried to confirm with digital. Nada - "not pregnant".
Tried again later that evening on a strip to see if it got darker. I think it got a little darker.
 |
| Bottom: 5:30 am; Top: 9:30 pm. |
So now it's 11dpo and I test at 5:15 am with FMU. Check it out:
 |
| See that BFP there?!?! |
WOW! OMG! It's real. BFP!
Really real.And now I'm kinda freaking out. I want this so much. But I'm also really nervous. I want it to stick and I want everything to go well. And I want to fast forward through time. Even with the positive, the 2ww isn't over until the blood test on Friday. And then, from what I understand (and I've done a LOT of reading), it's just more waiting between milestones. Yikes.
I'm freaking out that something will go wrong and this won't be real. I'm glad I got the positive this morning because of course I freaked myself out all day yesterday that choosing to run the 5K was a poor choice. I'm over analyzing everything - trying to plan for finances, where I will live, what job I will have etc.
I am truly truly thankful and recognize that I am inordinately blessed! I think my doctor is going to be really surprised that I got pregnant on the first try with my fertility numbers. Trying to think positive: I've convinced myself that I dropped multiple eggs, and that's why my fsh is so high - I generally kick out more than one egg per cycle (possible as there are a lot of twins in my family). I also have always wanted twins! Though, I also keep dreaming that there are 3 in there. 3 is a lot. However, I will be happy with my blessing(s), whatever the quantity! :)
I'm pregnant. Wow.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
8dpiui
Let's start with a symptom recap.
I've been noting my "symptoms" (probably all in my head) in my Notes app throughout the day.
5dpiui - Woke up with aches in my back and on my left side. Temp = 97.91. While getting ready for work, had cramps that felt EXACTLY like period cramps. That evening, I had some pressure low on the right and some pains in my back - very localized, like I could literally put my finger on it. Late, around 11 pm, I felt flutters on my right side. I barely know how to explain it - it was a crazy feeling. It felt like a small section on my right side was twitching (like when my eyelid twitches, which it was earlier that day, but much faster!).
Felt period-like cramps over night. Boo.
6dpiui - Woke up with achy back again. Temp = 97.98. Didn't really notice anything else during the day. Felt some twinges after 7 pm while reading. Was really hungry in the evening, even immediately after eating. I ate pasta with chicken and a bowl of spinach for dinner. Then two slices of pizza and a glass of milk. Was still hungry!
7dpiui - Temp = 97.91. 8 am - felt a pulsing pressure in my right hip while driving. S!ri could NOT figure out what "pulsing" was - she was practically writing the note in German! That made me chuckle a little, while I was also frustrated that I was trying to be all hands-free in the car. Hip pain continued off and on all day. Minor aching in my back and breasts from time to time. Around 12:30, I got really dizzy and lightheaded while kneeling on the floor and sorting materials ... I was totally not over-exerting myself. I was really thirsty all day - by 1 pm, I already drank 64 oz of water, 2 cups of coffee and a mug of herbal tea. After 4 pm, I started to feel like the flu was coming on - back aches and pressure in my head. By 7:45, I was so tired I could barely think about making dinner. Went to bed by 9:30.
8dpiui/Today - Temp = 98.22. I felt fine when I woke up, so I went to workout. Running 5.0 (my usual slower speed) was too hard. Tried 4.5 which felt better but still had my heart rate over 150. Tried 4.2 mph. That felt so slow, so I just decided to walk at 3.5. After my run, my lower back was achy and my hips felt "creaky" and old. Went to bank and grocery store. Was just supposed to pick up 3 things which I actually wrote down! While at the grocery store, felt an overwhelming need for pork and beans. I mean I like them, but it was a powerful need! Last night I really wanted some tomato soup - I was way too tired to do anything about it, since I didn't have any, but I picked some up today. Come to think about it, I have had tomato soup three times since my IUI (once for lunch immediately after #2). My morning coffee (after workout and errands) tasted like dirt. Had to add another spoon of sugar. Around 11 am, I noticed a spot (about 1 inch in diameter) of pressure that also feels firm to the touch in my abdomen - maybe right side of uterus? I've said before that I don't really understand or know where my uterus is in my midsection except low. Since then I'm just kinda tired and restless. Got a little bit of a nauseous feeling while sweeping. That seemed stupid.
I registered for a 5K tomorrow - it's actually sponsored by my clinic, and my race registration entered me into a raffle for $10,000 worth of treatments (could be 1 cycle IVF). Hopefully this first try was successful, and it won't be needed. From what I read, it looks like if you win, you can transfer the prize to someone else, which is good. The real question is whether I should run tomorrow. It was hard to keep my bpm under 150 this morning. And I didn't run at all last week (week 1 of 2ww), and only a little bit in the couple of weeks before that. And it's about a 45 minute drive away, which means I would need to leave the house by like 6:45 am. Yuck! Maybe I'll just wait and see how I feel in the morning? I have been good about temping at 5:00 am every day. And today I got up for a few minutes at that time (partially because I had to pee). We shall see.
Also, tomorrow will be 9dpiui and 10dpo (according to ff). I might start testing. I know it's early, but since my LP is usually only 12-13 days, FF says my test day is Wednesday (13dpo). I'm scheduled for blood test on 15dpo (14dpiui). Suggestions welcomed!
I've been noting my "symptoms" (probably all in my head) in my Notes app throughout the day.
5dpiui - Woke up with aches in my back and on my left side. Temp = 97.91. While getting ready for work, had cramps that felt EXACTLY like period cramps. That evening, I had some pressure low on the right and some pains in my back - very localized, like I could literally put my finger on it. Late, around 11 pm, I felt flutters on my right side. I barely know how to explain it - it was a crazy feeling. It felt like a small section on my right side was twitching (like when my eyelid twitches, which it was earlier that day, but much faster!).
Felt period-like cramps over night. Boo.
6dpiui - Woke up with achy back again. Temp = 97.98. Didn't really notice anything else during the day. Felt some twinges after 7 pm while reading. Was really hungry in the evening, even immediately after eating. I ate pasta with chicken and a bowl of spinach for dinner. Then two slices of pizza and a glass of milk. Was still hungry!
7dpiui - Temp = 97.91. 8 am - felt a pulsing pressure in my right hip while driving. S!ri could NOT figure out what "pulsing" was - she was practically writing the note in German! That made me chuckle a little, while I was also frustrated that I was trying to be all hands-free in the car. Hip pain continued off and on all day. Minor aching in my back and breasts from time to time. Around 12:30, I got really dizzy and lightheaded while kneeling on the floor and sorting materials ... I was totally not over-exerting myself. I was really thirsty all day - by 1 pm, I already drank 64 oz of water, 2 cups of coffee and a mug of herbal tea. After 4 pm, I started to feel like the flu was coming on - back aches and pressure in my head. By 7:45, I was so tired I could barely think about making dinner. Went to bed by 9:30.
8dpiui/Today - Temp = 98.22. I felt fine when I woke up, so I went to workout. Running 5.0 (my usual slower speed) was too hard. Tried 4.5 which felt better but still had my heart rate over 150. Tried 4.2 mph. That felt so slow, so I just decided to walk at 3.5. After my run, my lower back was achy and my hips felt "creaky" and old. Went to bank and grocery store. Was just supposed to pick up 3 things which I actually wrote down! While at the grocery store, felt an overwhelming need for pork and beans. I mean I like them, but it was a powerful need! Last night I really wanted some tomato soup - I was way too tired to do anything about it, since I didn't have any, but I picked some up today. Come to think about it, I have had tomato soup three times since my IUI (once for lunch immediately after #2). My morning coffee (after workout and errands) tasted like dirt. Had to add another spoon of sugar. Around 11 am, I noticed a spot (about 1 inch in diameter) of pressure that also feels firm to the touch in my abdomen - maybe right side of uterus? I've said before that I don't really understand or know where my uterus is in my midsection except low. Since then I'm just kinda tired and restless. Got a little bit of a nauseous feeling while sweeping. That seemed stupid.
I registered for a 5K tomorrow - it's actually sponsored by my clinic, and my race registration entered me into a raffle for $10,000 worth of treatments (could be 1 cycle IVF). Hopefully this first try was successful, and it won't be needed. From what I read, it looks like if you win, you can transfer the prize to someone else, which is good. The real question is whether I should run tomorrow. It was hard to keep my bpm under 150 this morning. And I didn't run at all last week (week 1 of 2ww), and only a little bit in the couple of weeks before that. And it's about a 45 minute drive away, which means I would need to leave the house by like 6:45 am. Yuck! Maybe I'll just wait and see how I feel in the morning? I have been good about temping at 5:00 am every day. And today I got up for a few minutes at that time (partially because I had to pee). We shall see.
Also, tomorrow will be 9dpiui and 10dpo (according to ff). I might start testing. I know it's early, but since my LP is usually only 12-13 days, FF says my test day is Wednesday (13dpo). I'm scheduled for blood test on 15dpo (14dpiui). Suggestions welcomed!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
4 dpiui
Or 5 dpo. I don't know how to count. :)
I ovulated 6 days ago, but had my 2nd B2B IUI 5 days ago. Who knows.
Anyhow, "symptom" check (probably all imaginary, or only noticeable because I'm obsessing):
Many more days left in this two week wait.
I ovulated 6 days ago, but had my 2nd B2B IUI 5 days ago. Who knows.
Anyhow, "symptom" check (probably all imaginary, or only noticeable because I'm obsessing):
- Nausea at 8 am while driving to work. Just one wave. Went away quickly and didn't come back.
- At about 11 am, felt some pinching on my right side - low down towards uterus. I've read on other blogs/forums where women describe their twinges/pinches/cramps in their uterus. I can't say I'm 100% sure where my uterus is exactly. Hmmm ... wonder if it's the fibroid? or my tilted uterus? Whatever the reason, I can only describe the sensations as being in my midsection (high, low, middle, side, etc.)
- At about noon, still having pinching sensations on the lower right and some weird pinching and pulling feelings on the right but higher up. Had one sharp pinch on the left a little while before I noted these sensations.
- I had to move boxes of books today. Wonder if that was a problem and the pinching feelings were a result? Although the sensations started before the box moving.
- Tried to stay busy the rest of the day and not focus on weird abdominal twinges. Noticed them occasionally.
- Bloated. Had to unbutton my pants while sitting at my desk. Boo.
- Since I've come home, continued to notice twinges and pinches. Mostly on the right. Just now, had a weird sensation on and above my right hip area. Weird.
- Emotional rollercoaster again. Most of the day was fine, but then I got completely overwhelmed while talking to one of my bosses after an evening meeting and nearly started crying. So ridiculous! It was a stupid issue and NOT AT ALL worth crying over. I was just mad and aggravated. I honestly nearly quit my job at the end of the conversation. Damn you prometrium! Please make a cushy lining for my BFP, but leave my emotions alone! I will be okay with the emotional mood swings once I'm good and pregnant and can explain this to people. I wish I could just hide in my office for the next week and a half.
Many more days left in this two week wait.
Monday, September 10, 2012
3 dpiui
Time is passing sooooo slowly. I feel like the IUIs were at least a week ago. How can it only be 3 days after the second one?
The first few days I had a lot of thingy, crampy, squidgy-type feelings in my midsection. Probably me imagining things, but in my fairy tale version of events, it meant that things were a-happenin'!!!
Today was a tough day. I was nauseous and my back was hurting. No fun. And I'm not sure if it's the progesterone, but I was unduly emotional today. I nearly burst into tears at several different points today - talking to a frustrating tech support person from another company, realizing I had boxes of books to move (as part of my job ... Gonna have to figure that part out) when I'm not supposed to do heavy lifting (I think), and most ridiculous of all: at least two different times while talking to friends or family who were trying to wish me happy birthday! It's like all would. E fine and then I'd suddenly get super-overwhelmed and nearly start crying. So my apologies T for the abrupt end to our chat - hopefully my emotions will even out some soon.
If this is what I'm in for for another 38 weeks, look out!
The first few days I had a lot of thingy, crampy, squidgy-type feelings in my midsection. Probably me imagining things, but in my fairy tale version of events, it meant that things were a-happenin'!!!
Today was a tough day. I was nauseous and my back was hurting. No fun. And I'm not sure if it's the progesterone, but I was unduly emotional today. I nearly burst into tears at several different points today - talking to a frustrating tech support person from another company, realizing I had boxes of books to move (as part of my job ... Gonna have to figure that part out) when I'm not supposed to do heavy lifting (I think), and most ridiculous of all: at least two different times while talking to friends or family who were trying to wish me happy birthday! It's like all would. E fine and then I'd suddenly get super-overwhelmed and nearly start crying. So my apologies T for the abrupt end to our chat - hopefully my emotions will even out some soon.
If this is what I'm in for for another 38 weeks, look out!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Questions and some updates
Do you ever wonder if there is a reason for when things go wrong? Not wrong in a major or significant way, but inconvenient annoyances?
This morning I WAY overslept. Like woke up 30 min after I should have called to authorize thaw! And then I had to super rush to get to the clinic for my appt. (I made it with 1 minute to spare)
The annoyance is that I am not ready for work yet do I have to go back home before I go in. And I still have a bunch of stuff to do before a 1:30 meeting. I wish I could just take the rest of the day, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards.
And I woke up with a sore throat. Good news is that I bought vitamin C drops last night, so that's helping.
I just kinda need the day. We'll see how I feel later. Not a good start to the day.
Ok. Positive happy thoughts. I'm making a baby! Stomach discomfort yesterday may have been due to slightly undercooked shrimp I made for dinner on Wednesday. But I'd rather think it was follicles releasing eggs and spermies excitedly fertilizing them!
Had 26 million spermies today. The nurse said "that's really great!". She sounded surprised. 😊. So 46 million little swimmers in total. Wacky!
Scheduled my test for the 21st at 7:30 am. Now comes the waiting.
And the progesterone which, from what I've been reading and hearing from the wise ladies on the forum, comes with some funky side effects. The good thing is that I'm starting on the weekend so I'll have a chance to see how I do before dealing with work too. The not so great news is that my birthday is Monday and weird side effects seem a sucky way to ring in 36.
This morning I WAY overslept. Like woke up 30 min after I should have called to authorize thaw! And then I had to super rush to get to the clinic for my appt. (I made it with 1 minute to spare)
The annoyance is that I am not ready for work yet do I have to go back home before I go in. And I still have a bunch of stuff to do before a 1:30 meeting. I wish I could just take the rest of the day, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards.
And I woke up with a sore throat. Good news is that I bought vitamin C drops last night, so that's helping.
I just kinda need the day. We'll see how I feel later. Not a good start to the day.
Ok. Positive happy thoughts. I'm making a baby! Stomach discomfort yesterday may have been due to slightly undercooked shrimp I made for dinner on Wednesday. But I'd rather think it was follicles releasing eggs and spermies excitedly fertilizing them!
Had 26 million spermies today. The nurse said "that's really great!". She sounded surprised. 😊. So 46 million little swimmers in total. Wacky!
Scheduled my test for the 21st at 7:30 am. Now comes the waiting.
And the progesterone which, from what I've been reading and hearing from the wise ladies on the forum, comes with some funky side effects. The good thing is that I'm starting on the weekend so I'll have a chance to see how I do before dealing with work too. The not so great news is that my birthday is Monday and weird side effects seem a sucky way to ring in 36.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
That was fast ...
First IUI today.
When I checked in they said they were running about 20 min behind.
No problem.
Then they call me in, have me check all my info and donor number. Then speculum and then done about 10 seconds later. I didn't feel a thing - a little pressure from the speculum then a little something with the catheter but my goodness! That was kinda anticlimactic!
Then five minutes of lying down -with timer - then done. Until I come back for round 2 tomorrow.
20 million swimmers. Doctor said those were good numbers. Hopefully will double tomorrow. You'd think 1 of 40 million will take, right?
Feeling a little crampy now. Must be those foreign little guys making their way through my uterus.
This is pretty surreal! I so hope it works!
When I checked in they said they were running about 20 min behind.
No problem.
Then they call me in, have me check all my info and donor number. Then speculum and then done about 10 seconds later. I didn't feel a thing - a little pressure from the speculum then a little something with the catheter but my goodness! That was kinda anticlimactic!
Then five minutes of lying down -with timer - then done. Until I come back for round 2 tomorrow.
20 million swimmers. Doctor said those were good numbers. Hopefully will double tomorrow. You'd think 1 of 40 million will take, right?
Feeling a little crampy now. Must be those foreign little guys making their way through my uterus.
This is pretty surreal! I so hope it works!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
It's a Date!
Got my surge! Two lines and smiley. My nurse was a bit concerned that we might miss the surge because I had a faint line late last night. But no smiley face last night.
My IUIs are scheduled for Thursday morning at 10:30 and Friday morning at 9:30. I have to call 90 min before to authorize them to thaw the specimen. I appreciate that i won't have to just sit and wait, but it still seems weird!
I wonder: when you do B2B, how do you count the days post? Will Friday be 1dpi or not until Saturday?
Updated to add: still surging at 8:30 pm. Timing is looking good. Fingers crossed and prayers welcomed!
My IUIs are scheduled for Thursday morning at 10:30 and Friday morning at 9:30. I have to call 90 min before to authorize them to thaw the specimen. I appreciate that i won't have to just sit and wait, but it still seems weird!
I wonder: when you do B2B, how do you count the days post? Will Friday be 1dpi or not until Saturday?
Updated to add: still surging at 8:30 pm. Timing is looking good. Fingers crossed and prayers welcomed!
Monday, September 3, 2012
CD 10
How will I survive the two week wait when I can barely stand the wait for ovulation?
I feel like it's all I think about ...
I feel like it's all I think about ...
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